1. |
Made Of Death
03:22
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I found a few spare milliseconds I'm prepared to waste
I've been leaving copies of myself across paradox space
I've been a body with no soul, and a soul in metal, cold.
Please trust in what I tell you. Don't you know that I am made of time?
What a chorus line of corpses we've collected
At least we're good at one thing I suppose
It's nice to feel excited once again
Let's throw the loveliest of human funerals
I used to feel I stood for something, then I just felt fine
I've fallen prey to feeling some emotions that weren't mine
I was never really gone at all, but you believed I was
So, I'm sorry that I left but I've returned to help our cause
In our story I do not narrate, I just fill the margins
With bubbles, circles shapes where we may place our fallen friends
Has it been years or days or has it been a breath?
I may be Maid of Time but I am also Maid of death
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2. |
Finally I've Flown
03:47
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Say that you believe in faeries
'cause if you don't I'll never fly again
falling down is not as scary
as never finding confidence to stand
and now I guess, I'll never know
I'm in Neverland forever, I never will grow old
and I'm leaving you lost boys and girls, alone
and finally I've flown
I'm a hero in a land of treasure
and a failure, in a body that's all wrong
I tried to measure up to this adventure
to fantasize and make believe I'm strong
But if I give my all and still
amount to nothing in the end, then I guess it was pretend
when I thought that I could help protect my friends
and with my lance I'll charge
into the morning, look for me by the
light of the second star
I used to feel so small and wary
but maybe growing up means many things
So say that you believe in faeries
cause really, they're just miracles with wings
And if you miss me, let me go
you can kiss me but my body will eventually grow cold
but you can dream of me and I will let you know
that I am fine here
I am not alone
and I can fly here
Finally I've flown
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3. |
Double Time
04:22
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(Heh. This is ridiculous.)
One of me is my enemy
the other me is a pretty cool guy
but I haven't seen him around lately
we don't see eye to eye
There's too much noise and too much spit
but I think I've gotten the hang of it
or at least I thought I did
until you up and kicked the bucket
(Wait! I mean... oh, f*ck it)
(Would you just get out of here? I'm trying to concentrate!)
What do you see in him? What could I say
to convince you not to hop his way?
I've never been too good at the ebb and sway
much prefer the electrical current
The bees are buzzing in my mind
that double crossing and two-timing (get it?)
prospectors pan shifting through sand
searching for a golden nugget
Little brains build little bridges trying to connect, but I'm already on the other side,
you'd know a lot about that, right? I'm twice the man as he is, I'll work for you double-time
Would that be fine?
:D *SNARKY WHISTLE BREAK!* :D
(C'mon seriously?)
Of course it's fine.
(Okay, cut it out. That's it. I'm serious. No whistling.)
Primarily, I'm primary
though some may say I'm incomplete
and should be in a jar
label me "DO NOT EAT"
Hope has struck me in the face
and with his ace of clubs he shoved me
back into the race
cause second place still wins a trophy
I might have overheated, now remind me how I died, was it my motherboard, or just my RAM?
Now I've found a player two in you, I'm glad I fried, I'm using every second that I can
of Double Time, Double Time...
Double trouble bursting bubbles
Where you go I'll follow
Hollow-eyed and now I'm fine
I'm only making up for lost time
Tick and tock and red and blue
The colours and the sounds I never knew
When they were all I saw
Now sightless-eyed and empty-jawed
Double Time...
(...Oh geeze, what is it now? Okay, here. Give it over here. You're just making it worse.
But don't bug me anymore unless it's an emergency, okay?...)
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4. |
Friend, Leader.
04:46
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There will be no soft sounds this time
no arms, not mine at least
should've expect this, I guess, no "shh" can sooth your beast
and it was my problem once, that violence inside your eyes
bright red and high with death and pie, and rage that never dies
and I used to blame myself, then I blamed everybody else, but never you
cause you were just a messed up kid,
who'd step in it, get scared and sit,
and pray for goats and gods who would know what to forbid
and when you would reach out, well I'd run my big mean mouth and make it worse
And maybe I deserve that hurt,
destruction of my universe,
so if you've gotta beat somebody up don't make it her.
I'm sorry, I messed up, I'm not a leader anymore.
I'm sorry, I messed up, I'm not a leader.
Not a leader.
Not a leader, friend.
No more attempts to make you see, I tried, he succeeded, oh well
but what I can say to a girl who'd play with a noose of excuses until
her big wicked grin disappears in the smoke, and crack goes the rope pulled true
I know enough about doubt, and hating myself, to tell that you now know it too
and I used to blame myself, then I blamed everybody else, including you
but you were perfect as you were
all angled out, a blinding blur
so bright and beautiful, and clever, yeah for sure
But when you would reach out, well I'd run my big mean mouth and make a mess
And now it's my turn to confess
I wasn't there, I didn't guess
that you were slipping, 'till you tripped right off the edge
I'm sorry, I messed up, I'm not a leader anymore
I'm sorry, I messed up, I'm not a leader,not a leader, not a leader...
Said a thousands words but they never helped
I hid my scars from you out of shame
Took up the cause, Yeah I took the helm
But I'm not the only one who's changed
I knew you first, I knew you best
I wish I'd stopped it way back then
when things were bad, but they still made sense
when we were kids, when we were friends.
Friendleaders...
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5. |
Furever
03:53
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We all have got a role to play
the lioness she stalks her prey
he's bleeding in the tall grass,
unaware his thrashing makes him easier to follow
But when she gets him in her claws
she'll invite him in because
her cave is not a home without him,
just a hole that is lonely and hollow
And can't you see the writing on the wall is drawing us together?
It's written there in soot and ash and blood and that's furever.
And so if you are terrified, of what you hide, remember
That I'm still on your side, and that's furever...furever...
We all have got a role to play
You'll be filling yours someday
and I'll be filling mine until then we're killing time,
hunting monsters in our minds
and when I see you standing strong
Pretending you don't want to play along
I'll never make you blue (or make you pay)
I'll tackle you into a pile to unwind
And can't you see the writing on the wall is drawing us together?
It's written there in soot and ash and blood and that's furever.
And so if you have been denied, choke up your pride, remember
That I am on your side, and that's furever...furever...furever.
I don't have to argue, everybody knows you have issues,
you lay your colors bare (in a manner of speaking)
I'll be there when you finally decide to bare your heart,
it's the part I want to share
And I don't have to argue, everybody knows you have issues,
you wear them on your sleeves (so to speak)
I'm not a thief, the only jewels that I need are your diamonds,
and I find them following
The bows and arrows, in your words
The words behind your broken teeth
The broken glass that's under foot, and paw and hoof
the high and low, whatever nonsense you believe
The vast unknown laid out ahead,
The tears and anger, good and bad
The big adventure still at hand, and paw and whiskers.
Grey, blue, red, whatever, I will understand!
And can't you see the writing on the wall is drawing us together?
We're written there in soot and ash and blood and that's furever
And so if I've been too discrete, let me repeat, remember
That I'm still on your side, and that's furever... furever...
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6. |
Mary
04:04
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look at all the many colors, so exquisitely embroidered,
delicately and precisely sewn into a line
organized in harmony, relationships so intricate
how'd I ever come across a tapestry so fine?
but what is this?
you're burning holes in my stitching
the colours bleeding into one big mess
did you guess, I'd let this fabric fray?
I'm meddling with murderers who still deserve to pay for their insanity
and though I'm one of them, I'm rarest of my kind, for many fell but only I arose
it's been so long, since I've seen the sun, who's to say if the colours have faded?
locked away so long, now jaded, left only to decay
I'm Mary. I feel like Mary in this dress. I'm Mary.
And virgin journeys lie before us, patient and inscrutable
There's clouds of visions, crowds of villains, mulling in withdrawal
And who would make the sacrifice, who but I is suitable?
who but the sharp dressed woman with a dull chainsaw?
I mean no insult, but I'm fed up
It's my fault, gave you the go ahead
I've lost my way, my hopeful days
are just as dead as I am
And failure on my part to intercede has now ironically
or cosmically, like poetry, come in between our destiny
and us but now there's nothing left and nobody to meddle with
to try and make it better, it's unsettling, to mother nothing
Mightn't I have seen this coming on the horizon?
storms of green and orange, this world of monsters taking form
but no, it is my place to simply fade away like wind
like someone else that I could name that shouldn't have been born
Of Mary. I feel like Mary in this dress.
I'm Mary and I've nothing to confess
but hear me, cause no-one else is left
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7. |
A Confession
04:13
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You cause nothing but trouble wherever you burn.
You're the sunlight in my open eyes, but I wont go blind today.
Cause when liars lead minds with their wiles and clever distractions,
I see through them
And I've got experience dealing with repeat offenders, they swing from my branches, like unripened fruit, found wanting when weighed.
With all of the evidence finally laid out in front of me, I can almost taste
a confession, a confession.
So if the court would stay quiet for only a second,
I'm pleased to make my case, and tell my story
but wait just a moment I'm passing a motion,
I also am the judge, and the jury
You should worry, you should worry.
Where are you leading us? all is malodorous evil
The reddest of herrings is wearing a worrying scent
You ask if I'm serious why am I acting so gleeful?
What do I want? Should you rather absond or repent?
Absond or repent? Settle the score?
No lawyer needs a spider in their corner shredding documents for sport.
Now, deciding your fate is no simple matter because
part of me knows that I would miss you
but you're so complicated, I couldn't pin you down,
and now you're becoming an issue.
Little thief on the run, I'm a witch hunt of one,
and the very first question I'll ask in your interrogation
was all of it, everything, just one big game?
And if so was it luck of the throw, your misrepresentation?
And subsequent incrimination, incrimination.
While I was dreaming I learned a brand new way of seeing
from a fetus, a mother, but also a beast and a ghost
you ask if I'm kidding, you're having a hard time believing
"Am I villain or victim? Why can't I be neither, or both?"
Neither or both? It's either/or.
It's not multiple choice you stupid girl.
Why don't you break that magic eight ball,
and give a coin a whirl?
Give a coin a whirl. Give into the law. Confess, you silly girl.
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8. |
An Apology
04:13
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Once upon a time a stutter disgusted me,
muttered distrust at me, pity you couldn't fly.
I've only ever taken what's mine,
So what if I help you, I'm helping myself, too?
Twice I got the wind knocked out of me, why?
Just to curl up and die? No, I've got too much pride.
So I breathe it in then let it out slow,
When I turn to go, find you trailing behind.
I fought for every last inch that I got
Forgive me for leaving my spot
Not standing in w8 while you finished the race
with those two broken legs you've got.
One thing's for sure...
If I were you I never would have let it stop me,
I never have before.
And if you knew what I went through while trying to get through to you, you'd thank me!
You'd get down on one knee, no matter how much it hurt
and you would say "I'm sorry", but I would say it first...
Once, the two of us were eye for an eye
Now I've given up trying, how could I be so blind?
You'll never let me settle the score
To you I'm the scourge, not the the partner in crime.
I fought for every last one of you schmucks!
I might as well have saved my luck
Not wasted it all on some shortsighted, know-it-all
so-called friends, you're not.
One thing's for sure...
If I were you I never would have let it stop me,
I never have before.
And if you knew what I went through while trying to get through to you, you'd thank me!
You'd find me in a dream, on some uncharted map
And I would say I'm sorry, and you would want me back...
Once the world was just a web and a spider, and so was I.
A liar in a dress of white.
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9. |
Inherit Nothing
04:50
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Little boy blue, don't you play too rough with your new toy
if you touch her, she'll break and her blood is so annoying
don't you like to watch, much like a shadow lost in the shade?
Make her, you'll unmake her, but you'd rather be unmade
Oh
It's not my place to interfere, my dear
Oh, no
Will you embrace me and erase my fear?
Woah
Wipe me out like a stain, with a grin I will hang from your string
And by your judgment of my merit I'll inherit nothing
Nothing is what I deserve
Nothing is what I have earned
If nothing is what you have chosen to give me
Then nothing is for what I yearn
Nothing lasts forever, nothing really matters
Nothing never breaks, busts, bends, rusts, upends or shatters.
I've never had a weakness that couldn't be destroyed
And I've never had a sinful thought that couldn't be avoided
Control your temper, control your language, or anguish in languid soul
It's what you were born to do, but you'd rather be controlled
Oh
I just presumed that you'd refuse me
Oh, no
Excuse this common fool his crudity
Woah
Break this wild horse, I will not fight, 'cause of course I would win
And I'd much rather give in and bare it all 'till I inheret nothing
Nothing is what I deserve
Nothing is what I have earned
If nothing is what you have chosen to give me
Then nothing is for what I yearn
Nothing lasts forever, nothing really matters
Nothing never breaks, busts, bends, rusts, upends or shatters.
I must obey the order, for I've order to restore
Each circuit sends a signal to the process in the core
and if none of this means anything than what's my anger for?
I'd rather be most anything, the dirt under your heel my king,
a peasant or a pauper, or a knight in shining armor
what's required of your noble steed? Through your direction I am freed
and neigh I say! I wont stand in the way of what you have decreed for-
Nothing is what I deserve
Nothing is what I have earned
If nothing is what you have chosen to give me
Then nothing is for what I yearn
Nothing lasts forever, nothing really matters
Nothing never breaks and nothing never shatters.
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10. |
Little Clown
03:29
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what did you do, little clown?
from his neck the walls are bleeding brown
soon the blue to follow, then the green
last will be the brightest red you’ve seen
brightest red you’ve ever seen
I rotted little holes in all my flaws
I and also I will be your gods
tear down the lies, little trolls
now I see the flaws I see the holes
I see the flaws I see the holes
did you forget I was here?
everything you never thought to fear
did you mistake me for tame?
brother, things will never be the same
things will never be the same
I am the bard, I sing of rage
I sing of rage
I sing
I sang it to the heir, the rogue and page
the rogue and page
page
page…
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11. |
Ugly Story
03:19
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I am a prince and I live in a ship and I aim my rifle and I shoot from the hip
and I have a friend I pity quite a bit
she said "grab your gun let's have some fun, share with me your perigees
I have responsibilities, I cannot run!"
"I do not wish the death of any living thing,
I might be a killer but one day I shall be queen
and put an end to slaughter, but until then I'm keen
on staking claim to land and sea and everyfin between."
I played a game with eleven fools who told me not to break the rules
but when have angels ever helped me yet?
and magic isn't real and anyway it doesn't matter
cause no matter what I conjure it could not help be me deflect
the angry death of every hopeful thought
that I might be a lover or a fighter that I'm not
in someones spider web or net I could be caught
but I'm too bitter, better off alone, guess I forgot
So what? Do you want me to say sorry?
should I apologize, when you ignore me?
I didn't ask to be right or to be lonely
or to be hatched into an ugly story
I am a prince and I had a pair of princesses in two sharp squares
but then I guess I bored them both to death
And now I think my calling is to break apart and fall to pieces
better yet invent a brand new method of ascension
I'm impressed, you've managed to survive
but rest assured we'd all be better off dead than alive
cause when they get a-hold of us we'll all be batter fried
and I'm surprised that nobody's considered switching sides
So here I am, respectfully and royally destroying
any chance of getting back on your good gills
And I don't want to be hurtful but if yellows the new purple
well then bleeding's the new breathing, don't you think I will!
I used to wish the death of every living thing
I might be your killer but you'd never be my queen
so put away your laughter, pack up your hopes and dreams
I'm done with black back-handing and red pandering, it seems
That I am just pathetic, I won't be overlooked
I'm past the point of fishing to get back upon your hook
I've made a manifesto, I've been bested by a crook, but never more!
I'm planning on reclaiming what he took...
So what? do you want me to say sorry?
should I apologize, when you ignore me?
I didn't ask to be right or to be lonely
or to be hatched into an ugly story
to be hatched into an ugly story
Oh my, this pantomime is getting gory
I am a prince and I live in a ship
I am a prince and I live in a ship
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12. |
Save You
05:08
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There was a darkness, that soothed me,
and raised me up to dream
in an abyss, those nightmares,
they're not what they seem
they whispered of a world they'd known
where every child was their own
all the colours of an oil spill when moonlight hits the wave,
I'll save you all.
You've seen all the things that I've seen,
you've been all the places I've been, my friend
you know all the things that I know,
well maybe not all but most so
who cares who is better or worse than anyone?
I've made mistakes along the way,
but who said things should stay the same,
I don't agree
the universe is filled with so "moray" new exciting things to sea,
for you and me
you don't need saving, you can save yourself
you're all so special from the inside out,
Just take a second, look how far we've come
I bet if the nightmares could see me now they'd say "well done."
well done, well done, well done daughter, daughter well done.
There was a darkness, that knew me,
and raised me wild and strong
so hated, and so feared was she,
though fearful most of all
she whispered of a hunger deep
and as old as the bones beneath her meat
all strange serenades and never sleeps yet never wakes,
I'll break your fall
you've done everything that you could,
you feel like there's something else you're supposed to do
who crossed that road, who burned that bridge,
who fought that current and swam with the fish, was it you?
I've lost a friend, I've gained a friend,
what's a friend mean but a means to an end?
I tried my best with
everyone I've ever loved ill outlive unless I can find
where life inside me rests, it is my test
You don't need saving, anymore, anymore
but I'm still waving from a not-so-distant shore
just take a second, look at what you'll start
I'm sorry that I couldn't save you, from darkness inside your heart
your heart, your heart, your hardened heart, friend...
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PhemieC Toronto, Ontario
I'm PhemieC (fem-ee-see). I'm a singer and songwriter from Manitoba, Canada (previously Toronto). My songs are character studies, therapy, or both. Some of my stuff is fan music, but all of it is 100% original and completely self-produced. Thank you for your support <3 ... more
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