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Songs for a Doomed Timeline

by PhemieC

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1.
Sweet 03:57
Hello, my candy coated darling, it's your vanilla baby I've come to say I love you and I always have I find it so amusing, I used to be confused and afraid that you would never love me back But now I see that we always meant to be you and me forever planting lot of family trees counting out our children, half a zillion at least we'll name the boys for you and we will name the girls for me Hello, the sour peach of my skin, the sweetest poison icing so tasty it could rot your teeth and brain The chaotic consumption, the diabetic gumption to do a thing like make me go insane and leave this plane of reality completely float among the clouds of pink and blue cotton candy let's blast into space and race around like airplanes spreading multicolored chem-trails, soda pop and acid rain Feels so neat! Never wanna be myself again, I just wanna be SW--E--ET! Feels so fun! Never wanna come back down (x2) Goodbye to heartbreak on my birthday, annoying boys who hurt me with all the stupid things they do and say I can't even remember, what I was so upset for Spun sugar melts in water anyway So no more crying, dry those tears, I'll end your pain Soon you'll feel the cherry syrup running through your veins Heaven is a grinning face with not a trace of shame Take a taste of every flavour, favour anything but plain Feels so neat! Never wanna be myself again, I just wanna be SW--E--ET! Feels so fun! Never wanna come back down....
2.
Fool 05:19
Boy, you get my guts tied up in such a twisted noisy ruckus Heaven sent that you are, wouldn’t lift a claw or cut me off cause Rambling as I ever am I shamble to your chair and stables Watch you all enraptured as you shuffle cards and stutter fables Break my habit, you're my habit, I'd trade my limbs for one of you Two legs for two lips, now I'd say that's a fair trade, wouldn't you? Drop my habit, you're my habit, I'd trade my habit to get you back and I'm like a fool without a calling, like a heartsick fool Boy, you like to play the martyr, but if I pray a little harder If I close the window and come back here when I'm not so sober If I said it plainly not in riddle-rhymes, all cagey, Would you answer with a smile made of brackets or look at me strangely? Break my habit, you're my habit, I'd trade my limbs for one of you Two legs for two lips, now I'd say that's a fair trade, wouldn't you? Drop my habit, you're my habit, I'd trade my habit to get you back and It's you and I again, just writing shiftless, click-clack-clicking, grinning like a fool without a calling, like a heartsick fool A heartsick fool... Heartsick fool... A heartsick fool... Boy, you're on the floor and on my fingers, dripping from my kisses eyes so vacant, would you hate it, if I said you look delicious? the laughter dies and rots inside me, brother, it is you all over stay beside me here and guide me, unrequited would-be lover Took my miracle, you're my miracle, I'd trade my brains for one of you Two gods for two voices, I'd say that's a fair trade, wouldn't you? need a miracle, you're my miracle, I'd trade a miracle to get you back and I'm left without a friend soaked to the bone and backwards bent I'm seeing shades, screaming "repent your sickness, leave it here for lent!", now witness... here a fool without a calling, I'm a heartsick fool Still a fool without a calling, still a fucking fool
3.
You've got a new dress, you're a quick change actress your lipstick slides out of it's sheath you're my neon veined, day-glo dame, how do you speak with your tongue pressed so tight to your teeth? we've got a lot of dead friends on this rock where we're floating there's darkness ahead, but I think it's worth noting we're candles, we're matches, we're lights on a wire so come with me, please, be my sylph set on fire In all honesty I expected to be exceptionally unimpressed I do not trust kindness, in kindnesses, lies are hid and oft topped with makeup, and winningly dressed but you've got a mind, and if you don't mind me saying it resides in beauty not slightly betraying you luminesce, I confess, I guess you're no liar so come with me, please, be my sylph set on fire
4.
My Nightmare 03:33
I’m gonna have a nightmare tonight I’m gonna be my nightmare tonight You’re pretty picky, you’re a clique of one I’m right though, surely I’m not the only gun you’ve got loaded? How do you keep from gloating? You’re pretty tricky, did you pick that shade just to distract from the flash of the shining blade you’ve got hidden? Deep wounds overwritten I had so many new friends to see so many possibilities now I couldn’t possibly feel worse I had so many fires left to nurse In my nightmare tonight I’ll see giant leviathans breaking the water in half with their shining skin riding them laughing, you’ll be in my nightmare tonight In my nightmare tonight I’ll see beasts all stampeding your signia burned onto haunches still healing and leading the pack on their backs in my nightmare tonight You’ll be in my nightmare tonight, tonight… You’re pretty ugly when you get down to it, combined, I’ve half a mind to just say screw it and break completely, or surrender so sweetly I thought I’d have a chance to be my own, free from the tyranny of your tarnished throne. Now I see that kingdom belongs to me, oh no… I had so many irons in the fire so many brands and swords To their backsides I had even more So many plans on what they’re for In my nightmare tonight, there’s volcanoes erupting A red hot web veining the land, it’s disgusting cracked mountains of madness, your hand in my nightmare tonight In my nightmare tonight I’ll see me all consumed, and attempting to sing disharmonious tunes with you. Asynchronicity, I am in misery. I am in misery! What has been done to me? In my nightmare tonight (X3) In my night! In my nightmare tonight I’ll see giant leviathans breaking the water in half with their shining skin riding them laughing you’ll be in my nightmare tonight you’ll be in my nightmare tonight
5.
You were called like a curtain, split like a second, broken like a sword stuck in a rock forged for a hero, birthed forth for a heart much purer than his/mine/ours It’s uncertain when the tables turned, but when all of your brothers have given their lives for the strife you earned, you will get burned and it wont get better when put on ice And I wasn’t going anywhere fast, and my sister said she’d seen the end of my path. The direction that I fly, straight through the eye of our aftermath And you have to ignore it, don’t think about before, you’ve got enough fight inside to fill five world wars It’s just a game, just another cause, you’re a switch and I’m a cog and last thing we need is another broken clock So forget about your ghost limbs and all those things that scared you most as a child of 12 You see I’m 13 now, and if I die for the thousandth time, I’m unafraid, for I outnumber hell And I wasn’t going anywhere good, so I straightened my glasses and I did what I could What I had to but damn it’s hard not to look back at the time. But I wasn’t going anywhere fast, so I said goodbye to walking my own path. The direction that I fly, straight through the eye of our aftermath What makes us who we are, is it our bones? wrapped in all our scars, they’re ours alone they outweigh tails and talons, feathers, foam unless they’re not, unless they don’t. You were called like a curtain, split like a second, broken like a sword stuck in a rock.
6.
I am an island, no man is an island but me I reach out my leaves, and skillfully touch them to sea I ship out a boat made of hope on the waves and watch as it slips below I am an island, a island that nobody knows I am an island, no man is an island but I'm not a man I was raised by an ocean of creatures and brands I give what I can of, the fruits and flowers that bloom on my skin But when loneliness knocks, she lets herself in Islands don't sink, the water just rises around us Just think, someone out there is watching the stars but they're not the same as ours, some say they're already dead, and the light's only on in your head. I am an island, no man is an island but me, I warm all my sands by the pyre of my family tree I took to the tundra, I climb every mountain and fight every monster I can to run from that long burning fire, my friend I am an island, no man is an island but I'm not a man And messages in bottles feel like battering rams In my head I'm a beacon, a pinprick of potential, birthed out of nothing but blue And the light that I signal, it's shining for you Islands of love, we just want somebody to touch us Just 'cause we are distant doesn't mean we are lost we are where we are, and whenever a visitor docks and is stranded, it means we are not you and I have something in common, I will try to share my island you and I are sinking in tandem, miles apart in every direction You and I are treading this current, both of us are doomed for certain you and I are our own now, maybe we'll wash up on solid ground You and I are Islands x4 Islands of fate, lately I feel the tides shifting They're bringing us closer together to stay The waters are rippling, a new world is taking it's shape and tonight, our Pangaea awaits
7.
Thin Lines 04:28
I said a word it got caught in my throat, and it burned slipped off my tongue and I choked, you were concerned for a second then cries echoed into the night, lesson learned because you heard a word that I said, and this word how it rang in your head, it was loud and glorious, yes and from where you lay on my chest well, you heard it best but you held me closely while I screamed and I watched the thinnest trails of green run down your neck, and drip from your chin thin trails of green, thin lines, on gray skin Thin lines on gray skin Thin lines on gray skin where they world ends that's were we begin my thin line, my thin line I said a word was it a blessing or curse? Nobody knows the whole story, nobody hears me but you and you would have heard more if you could have I'm sure because you heard my word, you still do with your hands, eyes and rest of you too little stray on my lap, zealot, hellcat can't forgive what I did to my dream-maker, (has thou forsaken her?) And if you knew what I knew, would you object? Are we madmen or soothsayers? Truthfully, sweet heretic? I bit off the bit that silenced the world for you, sewed up my sin With thin threads of black, thin lines on gray skin Thin lines on gray skin Thin lines on gray skin when they world ends, that's where our work begins my thin line, my thin line
8.
Nobodies 04:07
Do you remember being nobodies, discovering nothing was not that bad when shared as a pair, both lost and long suffering, hiding in a frightening land And do you remember feeling that anger, yet so much love and "for what?" you wondered and now there's no wondering, the wrong nervous muttering, no magic left at all but I remember leaning against a backwards bent wing and awaking to feel that your touch didn't sting when everything was wrong, I made so many mistakes and you helped me make them, but with presence and patience all those wrong, awful, wild, amazingly childish decisions I take a breath, and I know I've got to turn the final page but is our story really done yet? I guess I'm still afraid But do you remember, just being honest, little bright moments of peace in the trees now it takes so much work to be with you, I'd say that I miss you, but for that you'd have to leave but I remember once forever seemed too short a time though not long enough for me to make up my mind I would've thought eternity would eventually make me wise Enough to choose a side, not just linger undecided Why do I feel changed when we both have stayed the same it feels like something's different, some ache too big to name When everything is endless and you're nineteen yet again and you're never flawed enough but you keep on pretending wanting that desperate, "forget me not/do you love me yet?" ending but there's no ending. There's nobody. Just two nobodies.
9.
What a vision of darkness, creeps in with desperate sharpness, lecherous grafting of knowledge to my young mortal subconscious. Words writ by breath of the ancients, wiser than even the pagans, or the wizened old men with wands and white beards that once were ensconced in my pages. Obfuscated by doom, and laden with arduous tasks are the pathways laid out for the lot of us. Mages and witches and princes and maids, pages with inches of space for mistakes. I am the beast, I am the light, I am the blighted being cursed with sight I am the god who created a world, I am leviathan, the girl I can do it on my own, but you're a hero after all, and we may think our sacrifice is just, but pride comes right before the fall. The cascade of rain on my needles, a hand grasping tight to the bottle, of a woman with untapped potential, the ennui of too late and too little. Our failures have made, a bridge for success, if our game is half played, then who's played the rest of it? Heroes we were in a universe doomed, soldiers in battles best left un-exhumed. I am the beast, I am the light, I am the blighted being cursed with sight I am the god who created a world, I am leviathan, the girl. And- I can do it on my own we can do it on our own Aut viam inveniam aut faciam x2 I am Leviathan, the girl...
10.
There's a boy here lying quiet in my shadow like a prayer he drips from every angle into colours that I wear he wanders like an saint on predatory pilgrimage with a grimace and a limp he puts his wrist against my cartilage and I could separate these bones, I could pack them into prose, or I could hold a cancer in my soul until it overflows, but there is only boy and breath, gentle handprints on my chest. mouthing little darling, deepest, loveliest of sacrilege. This boy of filth, he's born of Gods, he clutches at my flaws, he drags me from my holocaust he takes my limbs, he wraps them around him, he takes my shake and takes my sick and feeds me bread and then... these violent wall eyed dreams that mite their way into my fear of me and mine these wines and sugars in my blood they mutter "Take your claws and climb the inch of every pale moon love, you once swore you'd pay nevermind." When I am on the side of you, I'd say my gods were always lying Lying... There's a girl pacing around me, proselytizing parasite. Her sick, acidic logic ridicules the ancient rite. and when her teeth break up on me like tiny cliffs of chalk, I crash into her canyon, lick the injuries she likes to mock. And I could cut her down to size, It's half as hard as compromise, or I could watch a blind sleepwalker creep all sweet and none-the-wise, but there is only girl and grin, curling up under my skin, picture you and I forgetting why we let the other in. This judge of what, she's born of mud, she answers to no blood, she will not let me chew the cud. She spits and swells, she wears her wretched well, she holds my soul with taxes, tolls, and takes it straight to hell. these violent wall eyed dreams that mite their way into my fear of me and mine these wines and sugars in my blood they mutter "Take your claws and climb the inch of every rotten hate, I once swore I'd pay nevermind!" When I am on the side of you, you'd say your law was always lying. Your law, it must be lying. My Gods, they must be lying. Lying...
11.
Home 02:47
You call me down for Christmas cake Although that's not a thing, I sigh but I take a plate, I take a bite and the look that you give me is heavy with pride You bring me sticks that you find in the wild and I count every one and then hang them over the fire with patterns of wire and bow then we roll on the carpet and howl in the snow There is a place that I'm home In condos, apartments, in suburbs and islands there is a face that I know and wherever it is I find that my Christmas isn't cold You wake me up by dumping presents on my bed and forcing my head into a hat that's red and white, then it's up to the roof for a snowball fight You get the brandy and offer me some although we both know I'm too young and when I refused, you're amused then pass out so I turn on the reruns and watch them with you on the couch There is a place that I'm home In condos, apartments, in suburbs and islands there is a face that I know and wherever it is I find that my Christmas isn't cold that my Christmas isn't cold It's the end of the day and it's way too late but I log in just to say "Hi!" What's up? What did you get? What was your Christmas like? There is a place that I'm home In condos, apartments, in suburbs and islands there is a face that I know and wherever it is I find that my Christmas isn't cold my Christmas isn't cold (x6) Ho, ho, ho...home.
12.
The Path 02:57
I'll leave you my bottles, babe Ill wrap them in wool and lay them down in your crib I'll miss what might have been I'll leave you my swords and shades I'll put all my good into one place and ironys aftertaste will rock to you sleep, my babe When you watch what we made for you when you see what we gave for you when you read between the lines you'll find We waited our lives for you But in seconds my time will end I count every breath my friend and when space invades again we'll light the way, my baby so when the light catches blade when the time comes, do not be afraid follow the path we've made follow the path we've made

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Twelve songs about plot holes and side quests and ships that never sailed.

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released June 5, 2015

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PhemieC Toronto, Ontario

I'm PhemieC (fem-ee-see). I'm a singer and songwriter from Manitoba, Canada (previously Toronto). My songs are character studies, therapy, or both. Some of my stuff is fan music, but all of it is 100% original and completely self-produced. Thank you for your support <3 ... more

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